Some time has passed since I last written here isn't it? Well, A lot has happened and i think I'm getting worse at my results.. I can't study unless I have motivation, I know this is bad but I'm trying to get better at it =) At what you ask? Of course, its about studying without motivations. Sometimes I wonder what my motivation is. I always thought that my motivation is from Her. But I think I got kinda stupid thinking about that. Why do people study? To increase our knowledge or just simply to pass the tests? To me though, its like just to please someone. I don't like studying. I'm sure no one likes it too but I have to force myself to study.
Although I still think that she does have an impact on my studies because when I think about it, it always comes to me that "You have to be smart, so that you can take care of her next time." That's what I think but recently I've got a different kind of feeling but I can't explain it. Sorry, I must have made you get your hopes up >< It's really discouraging to talk about this any more so I guess I'll stop here ^^
Is it because I don't have enough courage to talk to her? She told me before, that she only wanted to have a relationship after our SPM or after 17 years old I think. I don't know whether what I'm doing is right or wrong already. It has been on my mind for a long time already that, should I tell her or should I not? I reaaaaallyyyyyy WANT to be her boyfriend. I don't know why but I just feel that way. I should just stick to my original plan and wait until after SPM right? Yeah. I guess I made myself clear right now. I'll propose to her after SPM. That's my plan, hehe.
I feel lazy today so I guess I'll just stop here XD
Good bye, thanks for listening to me ^^
You're really a great friend :)
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